Today is Fan Mail Friday #2

If you are not familiar with our "Fan Mail Friday #n" featurette, please familiarize yourself by reading this entry before proceeding, or you may be the target of a government plot to assume your identity and create a life-like facsimile of your person.

This week's fan mail comes from Agleteer Jim, (The Supreme Aglet will not reveal the full identity of fan mail contributors unless specifically requested). It appears that Agleteer Jim needed to get something off of his chest upon reading through my observance of the 2-week-3-day anniversary of The Supreme Aglet.

To wit:

I am hesitant to affront your intelligence, but feel the need to point out an alarming corrigendum in your reference to the "Byzantine Tulip."

I was initially aroused at the very thought of this sumptuous flower, and then suffered immensely when you confessed your lampoon. Your blunder is stating "there are no such things as Byzantine Tulips".

To this day there are still a few very small gardens that grow the captivating, horticultural delights. At one time these gorgeous flowers were grown throughout Holland. Unfortunately, these gems would stain anything that touched them.

Their demise came about shortly after the Germans invaded Holland. As the Nazis settled in, setting up camps in the fields of flowers, they became aware of the colorful splotches that covered their uniforms. The stains also made public which people, mostly women, were sympathizers. That was the end of the famous tulip.

Jim, I find your story of the demise of the Byzantine Tulip highly relevant, and your charming use of cumbersome words are truly indicative of a well-adjusted Agleteer.

Nonetheless, relevance is not tantamount to accuracy, and I find your account of the Byzantine Tulip highly suspect. This is not to imply that you are intending to mislead The Supreme Aglet's sizable readership; Agleteers are not liars, (and I am not a socialist).

I must therefore conclude that you are simply the sort of idle individual who has nothing better to do than write non-sensical prose with the intention of seeing it published on the Internet. I must recommend that you seek professional help for this affliction, as those who use their literary gifts to engage in nonsense risk complete insanity. The electric thimble has no shoe, and the world of the Supreme Aglet is once again in perfect balance.