The End

The Supreme Aglet here. Yes it is me. Please stay in your chair and do not bow down or otherwise interrupt me with your expressions of love and adoration.

I have something very important to tell you; but before I do, I want to thank Ballio for taking care of things, Dr. Gupta for making this message possible, and all of you for your concern.

Although I've been able to correct the problem that left my previous transmission partially encrypted, I'm afraid I've just about run out of time to correct the problem with the reverse polarity module prior to the closing of the temporal pathway.

What this means, my fellow Agleteers, is that I will not be able to speak with you again until you yourselves arrive in your own distant future. Some of you will not live long enough to see that day, and the rest of you will be well advanced in years before you hear from me again.

While this news is good for neither of us, I can tell you with certainty that the future in which you and/or your children will someday live is a wonderful place, full of promise, full of adventure, and full of wonder.

Since you now know this, I would encourage you to get an early start. Begin now, making your own way and boldly starting down that path. You can plot your course and head that direction even without knowing what will come next, with full confidence.

Fix your eyes on the bright place in the distance where you will make your destination, and deal with challenges as they come. You cannot know them all before you begin, but you can trust your abilities to deal with anything that will confront you. When things get difficult, you will find the help you need from the loved ones next to you and the power above you.

I know your future just as plainly as you know your past. Agleteeria, the world of the Supreme Aglet, is your destiny, and you will surely reach it. When you get here, you'll find that the world is once again and will always be in perfect balance.

THE END

Letter from Agleteeria

Ballio here.

Well, it was a pretty eventful weekend. Having made contact with the Supreme Aglet, Dr. Gupta has been working around the clock to see if he can establish some sort of regular communication and find out exactly where TSA is and how to get him back.

Or, more accurately, trying to find out when he is. What we've been able to figure on so far is that all of the gadgetry and computer programming is all some sort of time travel device.

...yes, a time travel device. I know what you're thinking: that scene in Napolean Dynamite. But don't laugh--apparently, the thing works. At least well enough to have transported TSA somewhere, although I don't know if we can get him back.

Late last night for a few short minutes, something kept coming through to one of the computer screens. At first, it was completely garbled and we couldn't make heads or tails of it. Finally, just before the connection died, we got the following partially garbled message:

Dr. Gupta, please read%?ssage and forward it t%Ballio and my?eaders. I'm not sur%?able to get anoth%? one off.

I am writin%?world that exists afte%?last Agleteer becomes an Agleteer%?eautiful world, now known as "Agleteeria". I cannot po%?ibly convey how beautiful and wonderf%?this world is.

%?of the first places%?ent to upon arriving%?leteeria was the local McDonald's, and I %?pleased. Big Macs%?fat-free and low-carb in Agleteeria, %?animals who provided their meat are reconstituted after the fact so that all vegetarians%?happy%?not setting SUV's on fire.

Speaking of SUV's, they%?bundant in Agleteeria, and they run on a single cup of water for a year's use. As one might expe%?also have no wheels and emit no noxious gasses and produce no other harmful%?issions.

Agleteeria %?not without its misfits. Upo%?rriving, I went to a library (all books float%?air in Agleteeria--no more need for those pesky shelves) to use a computer (they are slightly larger and narrower%?toothpick in the future) so that I could read The Supreme Ag%?. While surfing the Web (in virtual reali%?3D), I ran across a knock-off %?The Supreme Aglet called "The Very Good Aglet".

After some investigation, it turns out%?this Web site was created by some subersive French guy who, at one point, had taken offense to one of my admonitions, (something about using%?word "Soccer" without regard for the fact that Europeans refe%?the sport, incorrectly of course, as "Football%

But apart from that, people were generally kind an%?ongenial. I was particularly appreciative of all the statues th%?built in my honor.

I am left wit%?one sorrowful thought: that I may never see you or any%?aithful Agleteers again. I'm afraid that the reverse polarity module, which I had put in place to retur%?to your present, is not functionin%?

...and that's it. Dr. Gupta hasn't given up and he's still got a brave smile on his face, but I can tell that the news isn't good. I'm glad TSA is okay, but considering that he might be gone forever, I have a twisted feeling in my stomach.

If we get any more messages from TSA, I'll post them here.

Signed,
Ballio

Day 5: The Day We Made Contact

There were astonished cries of "It's him! It's him!", and the cheers went up. I was there when it happened!

But the question remains: where is he? Where?!

Dr. Gupta is going to catch up on some well-deserved rest this weekend, but let's continue to hope for TSA's safe and quick return. At least we know he's okay, wherever he is. Hopefully, we'll know more on Monday.

Signed,
Ballio

Day 4: "All Hope is Lost"

Ballio here.

I assume you've heard the news by now, as it's all over the headlines, but if you haven't, you can listen to Chuck Weaver's report here.

I have no appetite. I can't think. I can't funtion. During those moments when I'm feeling pessimistic, it makes me ill to think about what might have happened to TSA.

Since Dr. Gupta's grim announcement, I've called him to get more detail on what he's found out--any little ray of hope I can grasp at. The poor guy has been going non-stop and says he won't give up trying to reverse-engineer TSA's computer programs and gadgetry to figure out what he was up to with all that stuff, the theory being that the last thing he was doing before he disappeared was tinkering with his equipment. Gupta says he'll keep working at it either until he figures it out or drops dead. What a trooper.

"All hope is lost": those are not the words I wanted to hear. TSA, if you're out there, give us a sign. Help us out.

Signed,
Ballio

Day 3: TSA Update/Agleteer Dave's Slide Room

Ballio here.

I don't have any news today on the disappearance of TSA, except to say that a research team, headed by the renowned Dr. David Gupta, will be combing through the Supreme Aglet's lair tomorrow searching for clues.

Be sure to tune in your radio (or visit here) to hear Chuck Weaver's live coverage of Dr. Gupta's progress. And keep your fingers crossed.

If TSA is out there reading this somehow, I know he'd want us to press on during this difficult time. So with that said, I'm going to turn over today's Supreme Aglet post to Agleteer Dave, who kindly provided the following in answer to TSA's first memory assignment:

My earliest memory is around 1968, I was born in 1967 so logic tells me that I was about a year old. I’ve also verified this story with my mother so all facts are true, only the names have been withheld to protect the innocent.

As a child my father was in the military, an officer in the USAF, and as an officer he and my mother would attend various military events. On these occasions the children (myself being one) would be dropped off at a military base "day care" of sorts.

There was a room that is very predominant in my mind and is the center piece of this memory. We’ll call it the "slide room".

The slide room was just that, a large room with a concert floor and a large slide standing in the middle. This was no indoor slide – this slide was the big metal kind you would see outside in a playground of the 60’s. It had metal steps with hand rails and a long, straight piece of shiny metal with short sides that made up the "sliding" portion. (These kind of slides would be banned nowadays to "protect" children from injury and to eliminate an influx of "got a boo-boo" law suits.) I also seem to recall hoppity-hops scattered about the room, but the slide was the thing that impressed me the most.

My older sister, who also remembers the slide room, recently made friends with someone many years and states removed from the slide room. They were talking about the military both having that in common with parents. It just so happens that this woman had been stationed at the same base as a child and she also remembers the slide room. As wee tots they may have actually played in the slide room together.

I don’t know what it was about that slide room but for some reason it left a memory burned into the psyche of any child that encountered it. Maybe when you’re only 2 to 3 feet tall it just seems so impressive to enter a room with nothing but a slide in the middle.

With all that, the funny thing is...I can’t ever remember going down the slide. Go figure.

Wow. Everyone seems to remember the slide room. I remember the slide room and I wasn't even there! (I hope that's funny. I'm trying to write stuff that TSA would write in response to the letter above. I'm not funny, huh.)

Signed,
Ballio

Day 2: More Witnesses to TSA's Disappearance

Ballio here. I wanted to thank you guys for sending in your tips. Really, even if they're just minor observations, every little bit helps.

One of the tips sent in by Agleteers has already led to finding more witnesses to TSA's disappearance, (listen to Chuck Weaver's latest report here).

I'm going to try my best to maintain a "business as usual" atmosphere, which I think will help us all deal with this emotionally. Tomorrow, barring any major developments, I'm going to press on with TSA's regular Fan Mail featurette, as some of you have submitted your "first memory" assignments.

I wonder where he is right at this moment. I hope he's ok.

Signed,
Ballio

The Supreme Aglet Disappears!

Ballio here. Perhaps you've heard the news, (listen to Chuck Weaver's report here).

I'm freaked out. I first realized something was wrong when TSA (his friends call him "TSA") didn't show up for our monthly Bunco last night. He's never missed one, and even if he was going to bail on us, he would have at least called, e-mailed, or sent a singing telegram like he did last Tuesday when he couldn't make it for Canasta.

This is not good. PLEASE keep an eye out for anything that will help us find out what happened to the Supreme Aglet. If you have any tips, please e-mail them to me at iamballio@hotmail.com and I will make sure they get to the proper authorities asap.

I'll keep you posted.

Signed,
Ballio