Letter from Agleteeria

Ballio here.

Well, it was a pretty eventful weekend. Having made contact with the Supreme Aglet, Dr. Gupta has been working around the clock to see if he can establish some sort of regular communication and find out exactly where TSA is and how to get him back.

Or, more accurately, trying to find out when he is. What we've been able to figure on so far is that all of the gadgetry and computer programming is all some sort of time travel device.

...yes, a time travel device. I know what you're thinking: that scene in Napolean Dynamite. But don't laugh--apparently, the thing works. At least well enough to have transported TSA somewhere, although I don't know if we can get him back.

Late last night for a few short minutes, something kept coming through to one of the computer screens. At first, it was completely garbled and we couldn't make heads or tails of it. Finally, just before the connection died, we got the following partially garbled message:

Dr. Gupta, please read%?ssage and forward it t%Ballio and my?eaders. I'm not sur%?able to get anoth%? one off.

I am writin%?world that exists afte%?last Agleteer becomes an Agleteer%?eautiful world, now known as "Agleteeria". I cannot po%?ibly convey how beautiful and wonderf%?this world is.

%?of the first places%?ent to upon arriving%?leteeria was the local McDonald's, and I %?pleased. Big Macs%?fat-free and low-carb in Agleteeria, %?animals who provided their meat are reconstituted after the fact so that all vegetarians%?happy%?not setting SUV's on fire.

Speaking of SUV's, they%?bundant in Agleteeria, and they run on a single cup of water for a year's use. As one might expe%?also have no wheels and emit no noxious gasses and produce no other harmful%?issions.

Agleteeria %?not without its misfits. Upo%?rriving, I went to a library (all books float%?air in Agleteeria--no more need for those pesky shelves) to use a computer (they are slightly larger and narrower%?toothpick in the future) so that I could read The Supreme Ag%?. While surfing the Web (in virtual reali%?3D), I ran across a knock-off %?The Supreme Aglet called "The Very Good Aglet".

After some investigation, it turns out%?this Web site was created by some subersive French guy who, at one point, had taken offense to one of my admonitions, (something about using%?word "Soccer" without regard for the fact that Europeans refe%?the sport, incorrectly of course, as "Football%

But apart from that, people were generally kind an%?ongenial. I was particularly appreciative of all the statues th%?built in my honor.

I am left wit%?one sorrowful thought: that I may never see you or any%?aithful Agleteers again. I'm afraid that the reverse polarity module, which I had put in place to retur%?to your present, is not functionin%?

...and that's it. Dr. Gupta hasn't given up and he's still got a brave smile on his face, but I can tell that the news isn't good. I'm glad TSA is okay, but considering that he might be gone forever, I have a twisted feeling in my stomach.

If we get any more messages from TSA, I'll post them here.

Signed,
Ballio