Wednesday Essay Contest Presidential Candidates

If you haven't been following the controversy surrounding the Wednesday Essay Contest, then you are inferior and should be grazing among the bleating sheep in the fields.

Two candidates have now emerged, each representing the two camps in this controversy. I'm afraid my meeting with these individuals and other concerned Agleteers last week yielded little progress, and I fear that it will only get worse.

I'd like to believe that we Agleteers regard each other as being cut from the same cloth, even when we have disagreements, and excepting the obvious fact that I am better than of all of you.

We share so much in common, and this division should serve to illuminate that what we have in common is far greater than what we don't have in common.

I'm afraid I have no choice but to allow this unfortunate disagreement to work itself out to its logical conclusion. Hopefully, once the dust settles and one side is acknowledged as having triumphed over the other, the more passionate among you will have gotten this out of his or her system (note the use of both genders, indicating...you know the drill), and the world of the Supreme Aglet is once again in perfect balance.