Today is Fan Mail Friday #9

If you are not familiar with our "Fan Mail Friday #n" featurette, please familiarize yourself by reading this entry before proceeding, or you may be secretly video-taped while showering.

This week's fan mail comes from Agleteer Ken, (The Supreme Aglet will not reveal the full identity of fan mail contributors unless specifically requested):

Mr. Supreme Aglet sir, I don't know how to say this, but I have a criticism.

I don't like where this going already.

Your new "Weekend Edition" featurette disturbs me.

You do seem to be a disturbed individual.

While I found it as entertaining as any of the others of your wonderful and spiritual writings,

Spiritual?

the joy of reading it was countered by having nothing new to read on Sunday morning. I can't live like this, Mr. Supreme Aglet. I can't. Sundays without The Supreme Aglet are like cereal without milk, toast without butter,

...stamps without some form of adhesive...

a book without pages, a piano with no keys.

Can you help me, Mr. Supreme Aglet? Could you perhaps write a single word--any word--just to give me something to look forward to on Sunday morning. Even something as simple as "It's Sunday and the world of the Supreme Aglet is in perfect balance."

Perhaps a Bible sermon would be most appropriate for Sunday. Maybe some sort of virtual brunch. Maybe a parade.

Well Agleteer Ken, I was following you until that last paragraph where you sort of veered from the fringe into the abyss.

Rarely do I get mail that does something other than ask a question or praise me, so I found your mail particularly intriguing. Nonetheless, I am not able to address your Sunday morning void at this time, as the Weekend Edition Featurette will remain in place for the foreseeable future. I cannot ask millions of Agleteers the world over to accept the shock of such a rapid change in our featurette schedule in order to accommodate a single Agleteer. I'm sure you understand.

Might I suggest that, prior to reading The Supreme Aglet on Sunday mornings, try holding a powerful magnet close to the left side of your head for several seconds. This will erase all memory of the previous day (and perhaps your lifetime), and so reading The Supreme Aglet will be a new experience for you.

Of course, I would not recommend this unless I had first tried it and, uh, what were we talking about again? Something about the world of the Supreme Aglet being once again in perfect balance?