Today is Fan Mail Friday #12

If you are not familiar with our "Fan Mail Friday #n" featurette, please familiarize yourself by reading this entry before proceeding, or your home may be uprooted by the well-preserved mammoth living below your foundation as it suddenly comes to life.

This week's fan mail comes from Agleteer Andy, (The Supreme Aglet will not reveal the full identity of fan mail contributors unless specifically requested):

Like you, I have been distressed by all the controversy that has resulted from the Wednesday Essay contest. I can't sleep, and I've dropped 10 pounds. Please tell me that it will all be over soon.

Buck up, Agleteer Andy, as every cloud has a silver lining, (to coin a phrase). With Summer approaching, you can use this time to continue starving yourself in order to to have a Speedo-friendly figure.

With all the flailing around and wailing that's going on, perhaps all Agleteers should regard the Wednesday Essay Contest controversy as sort of a body-building program--as a means toward unlocking that babe-trapper form inside the otherwise drab and formless frame that passes for your body.

Heck, work on those abs for a bit, throw on some red tights, and you could have that true Supreme Aglet look.

Hang on for a second while I go look in the mirror...Oh yeah. Baby. Mmmm mmmm.

If you're looking for a workout video and fitness program that will encapsulate your tantrums within a productive workout structure, please visit The Supreme Aglet's souvenir Web site. While you're there, remember to pick up a Ballio Stress Ball and a few Perfect Balance(tm) brand frozen dinners to keep you in shape. This will contribute to your fitness and my bank account, and the world of the Supreme Aglet is once again in perfect balance.