About the Wednesday Essay Contest Controversy

Some Agleteers have been writing with strong feelings about out Wednesday Essay Contest featurette. Opinions fall into one of two categories: 1) put an end to the fledgling Wednesday Essay Contest featurette in order to free up an extra day for pure Supreme Aglet wisdom, or 2) this is the most valuable and worthy featurette among all featurettes because it contributes to the heralded expression of thought so well associated with Agleteers, and it must remain.

Perhaps you are familiar with this controversy, as it has spilled into the streets of large American cities in the form of contentious protests, and these protests have garnered the attention of national news outlets. It has split Agleteers into two parties: the Agleteericans and the Essaycrats.

I am distressed that this controversy has yielded such division, and I call on Agleteers everywhere to put their differences behind them as we work to remedy the disagreement behind the controversy.

I urge you to look to me as your father figure and as your example of how to approach disagreements congenially, and working toward a mutually beneficial outcome.

I am so confident that we will soon be able to come together and put this mess behind us that I have already purchased several gallons of lemonade for our 4th of July party, and the world of the Supreme Aglet is once again in perfect balance.